Archive for the ‘Life in general’ Category

Bigger and better

July 21, 2013

I recently got a raise at work, which was certainly welcomed; I don’t want to give the impression that, in this day and age where so many are having trouble finding full-time jobs, that I am ungrateful. However, when I looked at what my salary is now, I thought…I am worth more than this!. I know in my heart that I have the skills to go much farther in life, and the desire is beginning to form as well. I never thought I deserved more, earned more, or wanted more. I want that “new to me” Toyota I saw in the used car lot last night. I want to be a homeowner in the not too distant future. I want my future kids to experience even a fraction of the wonderful childhood I had (thanks to parents who worked their butts off, whether it was at home or out in the workforce). I want more!!

20 years ago today

June 5, 2012

(Don’t worry, I’m not going to do one of these posts every year! Now that I think about it, though)… ๐Ÿ™‚

20 years ago, on this date and time, Al and I were staying over at the neighbors’ house because you decided to make your appearance 2 weeks early (during a nurses’ strike, no less; Dad was apparently ready to ram the picket line!). When we got the call early the next day telling us that we had a baby brother, I was not exactly over the moon; I had wanted a sister SO badly!

Many, many things have happened in the last 20 years, and I’m so glad you have been here to take part in them. As you completed the halfway point in your university education, and moved out on your own, I am very proud of your accomplishments and of the man you have become. You make us proud, and I’m sure the grandparents who are no longer with us would be so thrilled and happy about how you turned out.

Happy 20th birthday, buddy. Keep on making good choices- the best is yet to come! ๐Ÿ™‚

Quote of the Day

June 4, 2012

“Stop cheating on your future with your past….it’s over.” Wise words to live by ๐Ÿ™‚

Someday…

April 12, 2012

I’ve written before on here about my struggles with mental illness. I use the word “struggle” because it took me, oh, 27 years to realize that I suffered from depression/anxiety, and a further 2 years to find a medicine that works for me. I know that drugs affect different people very differently, but let me tell you: Effexor is BAD. Very bad. So bad that my anxiety would INCREASE and I’d worry about missing a pill due to the side effects! For me, the worst was the disturbing dreams. If I missed just ONE pill, oh boy…I’d wake up scared. The medicine I’m on now (generic Prozac) is MUCH better ๐Ÿ™‚

Which brings me to the inspiration for this post: the dream I had the night before last. I can’t remember every detail, but I do remember this: I met someone, and the relationship evolved over time. None of this “I’m cute, you’re cute, let’s hook up”. We first saw each other at an event of some kind, and I said to a friend at one point “I knew the first time I saw him that he was the one for me”. He was a kind person, and said nice things to me. I just remember waking up and feeling happier than I have in a long, long time.

(For those of you who are wondering- my dream guy bore a striking resemblance to Ty Burrell of “Modern Family” fame. I think he’s very attractive, but what draws him to me most is his sense of humor, hard-working nature and goofiness :))

One year ago today…

December 14, 2011

I’m big on anniversaries. I remember the date of my first kiss, my first slow dance, my second cousin once removed’s birthday, my parents’ anniversary (which even my own FATHER often forgets, but I give him a pass on that one; his mother’s birthday was the day before!)…

One year ago today, I was lying awake, a nervous wreck before I was to start a new job. That job didn’t work out for various reasons, but almost 6 months later to the day I found a job I love, and here I am 6 months after THAT still loving it!

I haven’t felt this happy in a long time…in fact, I don’t know if I’ve EVER been so at peace with my life. The next step is to get physically fit and lose weight, and to continue to take care of my mental health.

Ramble done…thanks for listening to the musings from my little corner of the world ๐Ÿ™‚

Jumping back in…

July 7, 2011

Warning: if you’ve had enough of friends/relatives/strangers going on about finding Mr/Ms. Right, then this isn’t the post for you! ๐Ÿ˜›

It isn’t something I talk a whole lot about to anyone other than close friends, but I haven’t had the best luck in the relationship arena. I’ve never accomplished anything on a strict timeline; I was 19 when I got my driver’s license, and my university degree has been a true roller coaster of up-and-down emotions and academic results. There are some things I believe in setting a firm goal for; for instance, if you read my 30 in 30 post, you’ll know that I am DETERMINED to lose 30 lbs by my 30th birthday in January. There is no one but me standing in the way of that goal!!

However, I draw the line with relationships and firm goals. I have seen what has happened with the “I want to get married by 28” and “I want to be a mom by 30″ people, and in the majority of cases things haven’t ended well. Of course, I know there are special circumstances; illness, military deployment, or any of a myriad of personal reasons why people want to accomplish something by a certain point in their life. Saying that, I get REALLY stinkin’ jealous of some people around my age who are getting married, have found Mr/Ms. Right, are having kids…they have someone to love them, to care for them and about them. Don’t get me wrong; my parents and brothers are WONDERFUL and have been, and continue to be, an enormous support to me. However, it would be really nice to have someone around to talk with, to cry with when I’m having a bad day, to watch my favorite movies and TV show with…to just be there for me when I need him.

Sooo…I’m taking the first baby step in jumping back into the wonderful world of the awkward back-and-forth tango more commonly known as “dating”; I’m admitting that I truly want to find someone, that life partner who will stick around through the bad times and the good. I don’t know what’s going to end up working for me, but I talk a lot and love meeting new people, so I’ll use that to start with and go from thereย  ๐Ÿ™‚ย  Barring that, there are always arranged marriages… ๐Ÿ˜€

30 by 30!!

June 12, 2011

JULY [um, yeah…I can’t do math…!] 21st, 2011, is the day. The day when it will be exactly 6 months until my 30th birthday.

Honestly, the number doesn’t mean a lot to me. I’m not one for setting age-related goals in life; every time I’ve tried, I’ve ended up disappointed and miserable. So, I told myself that I will do my best and get things done in my own time! No “I want to get married by X”, “I haaaave to have kids by X”, etc., for me!

One thing that can’t wait, however, is my health. I’ve let my fitness level and eating habits lapse over the past couple of years, and I think that things have finally settled down in my life. It’s time! I have pledged to myself to lose (a minimum of) 30 in 30; that is, 30 lbs by the time I turn 30 on January 21st. I think 6 months is a more than reasonable amount of time to accomplish this goal; I did it 7 years ago, and I can do it again!! My new place of work even has a gym in the basement, and the staff does a “Biggest Loser” competition a few times a year. I do well when I’m accountable to someone or a group of people, so I’m signing up right away for the next challenge! My goal is to be bikini-ready for next spring; perhaps my bff and I will set off on one of our adventures. I really, REALLY want to go back to Hawaii, or on a Southern Caribbean Cruise, or…well, you get the pointย  ๐Ÿ™‚

So, stay tuned…as of June 21st, I’m going hardcore and I’ll need my readers’ help. I know that I’m going to have BAD sugar/salt/fatty food cravings, so there might be a few posts with barely more than “I desperately want [insert food here] right now!” There will probably be some bad days along the way, too…but writing, for me, is the best therapy ๐Ÿ™‚

19 years ago today…

June 5, 2011

…my neighbor and close family friend picked my brother and I up at school. We were very excited; after all, it was nearly the end of our 2nd and 5th grade years, plus we would soon be welcoming a new brother or sister! When we saw our neighbor, we knew something was up. Sure enough, my dad had taken my mom to the hospital that Friday afternoon (during, I was to learn later, a nurses’ strike!).

I can’t recall exactly what we did that night, but I do remember my father calling my neighbor’s house early in the morning, telling us we had a new baby brother. “Are you SURE?” I kept asking; I had wanted a sister for years! My father assured me that he was very much certain that the baby was a boy!

The next day, I remember walking into the front door of the hospital, and riding the elevator up to the maternity ward wriggling with excitement. When I saw my new baby brother for the first time, I fell in love immediately and I have never, EVER regretted not getting the sister I wanted.

He has brought us such joy over the past 19 years; from when he used to take our things and sell them back to us, when he wandered off to the mini golf course at the age of 3 (and scared my grandparents to death!), and when he graduated from high school last year with high honors.

Happy 19th birthday, buddy- enjoy your life. You have so much to look forward to!!

Update…

March 9, 2011

This will be quick, a should REALLY be in bed already! However, I just wanted to let everyone know that since I finally broke down and got the Internet, I’ll be able to post much more regularly. Pirated signals just weren’t cutting it!

In the meantime, here are a couple pictures from what’s been going on in my life lately (sorry for the first 2; they refused to be flipped…):

The snow level at my parents’ house about 2 weeks ago; no bbqing for us on the back deck!

Stuart McLean (CBC radio’s “Vinyl Cafe), Imperial Theatre, Saint John, NB (no, Stuart is not on stage just yet!)

QMJHL game, March 5th; Sea Dogs vs Screaming Eagles. We won 8-0!!!

My weight-loss journey with depression (aka Flab to FAB!)

October 14, 2010

I’ve already written about how I lapsed from fit back to flab, so I won’t go over what I wrote already. I’ve also written about how I suffer from mixed depression and anxiety disorder, and I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately about others who have also suffered from these diseases. Our “down” periods can last from weeks to months; some people gain tremendous amounts of weight, while others lose it; some people have “up” periods amongst their down periods, and others don’t. I’m lucky enough to be one of the people who has “up” periods, but I’m also unlucky in that I’m a weight-gainer, not a weight-loser! I’ll be the first to admit that Iย  cannot attribute all my weight gain to depression. Some if it was due to other life events (relationship issues, mostly), and some was due to general laziness and apathy. I know my therapist said the laziness and apathy can be attributed to depression, butย  it’s so hard for people on the “outside” to believe that. To family and friends, it might look and/or seem like I didn’t care about my appearance, which was true, but as those suffering know…it’s not all our fault.

I have a friend who is also going through this journey, and as someone who is just starting to get back into the game again, I’m glad to have her to occasionally bounce ideas, etc. off of. I already have a gym membership, and am working up to getting back to the point I was before (gym 4 times a week, including group classes, cardio and weights). For now, I’m mostly doing the treadmill to get my stamina back up; soon, I plan to start lifting light weights. I’m a bit self-conscious, but as long as good music is pounding away in my ears, I tone out to what’s going in around me. Arnold Schwarzenegger could be bench-pressing 500lbs beside me, and I wouldn’t notice!

I’m also looking at Weight Watchers for the group-support aspect. I used to have a personal trainer, and that was great, because I had someone to answer to. However, that’s quite expensive, so I thought WW would be a viable alternative. I used to be terrible at reaching out for help, for turning outwards from inside my shell, but I’m getting much better at it. Plus, it’s very encouraging to be surrounded by those who are going through the same thing, because they understand your struggles. I haven’t joined yet, so I will update the situation as it progressesย  ๐Ÿ™‚

Looking towards the future…that’s my goal. I tend to live in the past, but I’ve decided that I can’t do that any more. I’m going to make myself a better person, and ensure that I’ll live a long and healthy life. I’m doing this for ME, and no one else!