Archive for the ‘Primal Scream’ Category

Worst parking job #1

October 17, 2012

I’ve wanted to start a series of posts like this for awhile! There seem to be way too many bad parking jobs around this city. Here’s a great example…in a fairly open parking lot…

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“You’ve won”! Stick it there, Orville…

January 2, 2010

A couple of weeks ago, I popped a bag of Orville Redenbacher popcorn to eat while I was enjoying a well-deserved study break. I think good old Orville would be ashamed to discover what has happened to the once-exhilarating experience of instant-win prizes…

The popcorn bag had a black bar on which, after it was heated, would tell you whether or not you had won a prize. After 5 bags I was getting pretty down, but after bad #6…cha ching! I instantly “won” a 2L bottle of Fanta! The sense of joy was overwhelming…after all, my father has won 2 cruises, a nice sum of money, a barbeque, a Turkish coffee set…it was my turn! Time to head to the store to claim my prize?

Oh, no…instant win has now become “to claim your prize, go to thisisinconvenient.com, enter your winning code, your most vital information and the skill-testing question”. I normally don’t bother with things like this, but about 2 weeks after I had gotten the winning pin code, I decided to enter it on the site. I put in all my information, used a calculator to answer the question, and got the following message…”Sorry, your answer to the skill-testing question was incorrect. Please try again with another pin code”! F%$^$ you, Orville!!!

A little bathroom humor…

November 17, 2009

No, we’re not talking about potty humor, although I suppose it could be considered as such! Today, as I was leaving the women’s washroom at the university I attend, a small, cartoonish sign above the toliet caught my eye: “Please flush toliet after using. Thanks!”.

Now, come ON, people…surely we have retained one of the basic tenets of washroom use our parents, preschool teachers, and any other adult in our lives has drilled into our brains…flush the potty when you’re done using it. Unfortunately, though, stating the obvious has seem to become the norm these days. We see this all the time on product packaging; “For external use only!” (on a curling iron); “Product will be hot after heating.” (on a supermarket dessert box); and “Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball.” (on the label of a cheap rubber ball toy). For more, check out this site.

One of my favorite e-mail lists (I’ve been a subscriber for many years) is This Is True. Randy, the humorist who runs the site, also has a site named The TRUE Stella Awards. Stella, a senior from Somewhere USA (our neighbors to the South seem more apt to launch humorous lawsuits; please chime in if I’m wrong!) spilled a scalding cup of hot coffee from McDonalds onto her lap, severely burning her. She was awarded an unspecified amount of money, no doubt in the millions.

I leave my dear readers with this warning: next time you open that package of toilet cleaner, don’t put it in your mouth thinking that it will cure your gingivitis. And next time you’re cooking chili, don’t pour in a nice bottle of bleach. Finally, when you’re finished using the toilet…for God’s sakes…

People who wait until the last minute to tell you things…

October 17, 2009

rolleyes1If it were that important, you would have informed me about it days ago when you knew it was going to happen. I’m doing YOU a favor; don’t you want things to be as easy on me as possible? Don’t be surprised if a) What you wanted to happen does not happen, and b) If I am a little less reluctant to help you in the future due to YOUR poor planning and lack of concern for others. (* this is not directed to any regular reader, by the way…)

A shout out to someone else: if you send an e-mail saying that a mandatory event is going to take place, it is very bad manners to cancel said event 2 days before it happens because “not enough people replied to the e-mail”. People have to rearrange other schedules and the like in order to be able to make it to these things; please, respect the people working for you and have a little more consideration!

Ahhhhh, that felt better! We shall see how things transpire…I have learned to let it go if it really doesn’t have an impact on me, even if that doesn’t make it right. Some people never change!

Why I will not be paying for a parking pass…

October 4, 2009

The educational institution I attend charges 79 DOLLARS for the privilege of using its sub-standard parking facilities. The fee keeps going up year after year, and after paying over $2000 on car repairs this summer (which represents nearly three-quarters of one semester’s tuition), I REFUSE to pay for a parking pass. I realize that the surface area costs more to plow in the winter, but really, now! I’m not sure how many students, staff and faculty have purchased the permits, but $79+ (passes cost more for non-students) multiplied by that number seems a tad excessive to me.

There was even a referendum within the last couple of years that went to vote and, thankfully, did not get passed. This referendum was proposing that ALL students pay an extra $100 a year on top of regular tuition in order to subsidize bus passes for those students living off campus who used that service. What about the drivers??? There is no way in HECK I would agree to that proposal! Maybe I’m just being a royal pain in the butt, but we’ll see how much money in parking tickets I owe before I can get my diploma…

I think the turn signal is an option for Saint John cars and drivers…

September 15, 2009

Seriously, why is it SO VERY HARD for people to use a turn signal? It’s that black stick near your steering wheel…it takes TWO SECONDS to press, and it lets other drivers know what your next move will be. I loathe people who weave in and out of traffic without using a signal, and I imagine in my head what I would say to them if I could catch up with them once they reach their destination!

I’m definitely not a perfect driver. I sometimes make stupid moves (never with anyone else in the vehicle!), and have been known to have been rude ONCE in traffic when I was having a bad day at work. I also flipped my car when I was alone in it. However, I always use my turn signal when other cars are around, no matter how far away they are. Combined with the horrible roads, constuction and potholes around this city, people who don’t use turn signals drive me nuts as a driver! I’m not the most patient person in the world o begin with… 😉